By Judy Taylor

I recently read an article in the Church Times written by the sister of Kit her brother who had sadly died. There had, in this article been many tributes to him and many stories about him too. One, which I found both admirable and wonderful is that of when he was a choral scholar at Clare College Cambridge, he had to make a difficult telephone call to his choirmaster which was to apologise that he was not going to be able to make choir practise that day because he had been arrested. He had gone to the Lakenheath air base with others to protest about nuclear weapons being housed there. The choirmaster was not at all happy and said that when Kit returned he would get a ‘dressing down’ from the Dean of the college for his absence. This story reminded me of when in the 1980’s, I went to London to join an estimated 30,000 people who marched to Oxford Street as part of CND’s protest against cruise missiles which were mainly sited at Greenham Common. Our march ended up by everyone, at a given signal sitting down in the middle of Oxford Street. I also went to the Greenham Common Peace Camp just for the day to join the many brave and committed women who were camped there and contrary to the press reports of it being a refuse sight, well I only saw a well organised group who had individuals with the black bin bags regularly collecting rubbish several times that day. On neither occasion was I arrested, but I know that many were and because of their commitment they were sent to prison more than once.

There have been many people who have risked great personal danger by standing up for what they knew to be wrong. Dietrich Bonhoeffer a German theologian and opposer of Nazism returned to Germany in the knowledge that he would almost certainly be arrested as indeed he was and was imprisoned and eventually executed. St. Paul was beaten and arrested for preaching the Good News of Jesus and he too it is believed was put to death. So many more brave souls who risked everything in the name of righteousness and freedom. And then there are so many more who we know nothing of but in places of oppressive and cruel regimes have been arrested for their beliefs and suffered long periods of imprisonment. I pray that none of us will ever be in that position; but even in our own lives, do we really stand up for something, a comment which is racist, a point of view which denigrates others? How much easier it is to say nothing or even go along with what is being said.

In Salisbury cathedral, at the eastern end in the Trinity chapel is the beautiful Prisoner of Conscience window depicting those who have been imprisoned for their beliefs or for freedom or just for who they are. In the centre window another Prisoner of Conscience is that of Jesus being mocked by the soldiers and crucified and Mary, at Christ’s feet. The window is made up almost entirely of blue glass and on a visit there once, a guide told me that blue glass is the most expensive and precious one that can be used in stain glass windows. Next to the window is a large Amnesty International candle which is there as a focal point for prayers.

There is a lovely end to the article I began with – when the choirmaster who incidentally at that time was John Rutter, said that the Dean would give Kit a ‘dressing down’ for missing choir practise, Kit replied “well I wouldn’t worry too much about that because he is here with me”… and he was Rowan Williams, the future Archbishop of Canterbury!

On Good Friday there was the traditional Good Friday Walk, and this year it was from Ibstone. I always love these walks whichever benefice is hosting, we are so blessed by being surrounded by lovely countryside and the walks take us through a variety of fields, woods and open spaces all away from the general distractions of our busy lives. For those who may not have been on one or not known how they are organised, the host, (this year Ibstone church and school) take a group on a walk roughly 1 ½-2 hours with several stops. During these stops, the unfolding story of Jesus’ crucifixion is read, a prayer is said and a hymn is sung. For those who prefer, there is a reflective Good Friday service in the church. The walk ends with a lovely tea for everyone consisting of hot cross buns and cakes and of course the very welcome cup of tea or coffee. This year I wanted to go but felt rather anxious because my walking ability is not what it used to be. However my daughter Carol said she would come with me, so off we set with the rest of the group. We had only just entered the wooded area at the beginning of the walk when I realised I had forgotten the thing I most needed with me, my walking stick. I knew the terrain would be uneven and tricky in places and as I have rather poor balance my stick is really important. Carol to the rescue! She quickly found a very robust looking stick, tall and strong and it was just perfect for my needs. My plan was to see how far I could get on the walk, there would be the opportunity to return at each stop if the walk was getting too tiring. At the first stop I was quite happy to carry on and then at the second stop I felt I could still go on. At the third stop although I was feeling tired it was going to be quicker to go on one more time than to go back! The feeling of completing the walk at the end was so surprising, I felt energised and very happy; all the tiredness seemed to drain away. Later, as I reflected on this, I thought about that stick and how it helped me to complete the walk. I know I would have struggled without it and very likely would have returned at the first stop. It gave me reassurance and support when I might otherwise have overbalanced or fallen even but most of all it gave me the perseverance to carry on.

There are many stories in the Bible of people who persevered against all the odds, and one of my favourites is that of Elijah who is exhausted having fled the revengeful army of Queen Jezebel who has threatened to kill him and he just wants to give up. He has done everything God wanted him to and still he is in great danger. He lies down under a juniper tree and asks God to take his life, he can go on no longer. He falls asleep and is woken by an angel who has provided bread and water to revive him. He eats and drinks and falls back to sleep. Again the angel wakes him with more food and water and eventually Elijah gains strength to continue on his journey to Mount Horeb where he will meet God.

There will have been times in most people’s lives when everything looks hopeless and we can see no light at the end of the tunnel. And yet… how often does someone appear, just with a kind word or support to help us through? Or something changes very slightly giving us a little hope? And then we have God. This God who is our refuge will not desert us, he walks with us through all our pain but at our worst times, it is very hard to believe that. God knows this too and never judges us when we doubt because we are overwhelmed by our suffering.

Elijah finds God in “the still small voice of calm” (I Kings 19 12-13) and that same still small voice will be speaking to us all through our life’s journey loving us, guiding and supporting us laughing and weeping with us because we are His, we are his children and as a parent he cares so deeply about all that happens to us.

When we finished our Good Friday walk, I laid the stick down in the field before leaving through the gate and said a quiet prayer of thanks for it and hoped that someone else might also find it a support on their walk too.

As we approach the beginning of Holy Week, I have been thinking and reflecting on the words “keep watch”. You may remember that this was Jesus’ plea to his disciples when he entered the Garden of Gethsemane; the place where he would be in agonising prayer with his Father that he might not have to endure what was before him. But his disciples were exhausted. This had been a week of twists and turns, the joyous entry into Jerusalem with the crowds going wild with excitement, the teaching in the Temple then the money lenders being turned out in anger by Jesus. Then a change in atmosphere, a feeling of danger, uncertainty at the supper they had just had, with Jesus saying strange frightening things about betrayal and leaving them. Today people talk about their lives being a rollercoaster, experiencing emotional overload, I hope that life is not like that for you at the moment, but I’m sure you can recall when it has been and how exhausting this can be. Well I imagine it was like that for the disciples, as soon as they sat down, tiredness overtook them and they just fell asleep. Luke tells us that they were full of grief, maybe they were finally recognising how events were going and they must have felt powerless and very afraid. Jesus had asked them to be with him, he knew they could not change things but he just needed them there, to keep watch, to be with him.

Some of us may have experienced the comfort of another ‘keeping watch’ and this can take several forms. It may be knowing a loved one is being cared for in hospital giving us the time to gather our strength and renew ourselves for the next day. I have great cause to be thankful for the time when the Marie Curie nurses kept watch over my dear first husband Paul while he spent his last days at home. I was able to sleep quite exhausted at night knowing there was someone who did not sleep but with such devoted care watched over Paul all night. Keeping watch is also being aware , being alert to the needs of others, just going that little bit further when the response to ‘how are you?’ is ‘I’m fine’ isn’t very convincing.

As I thought about keeping watch I thought of a lighthouse and how the great beam of light sweeps across the land and sea. Lighthouses are built on solid rock and are there not only as a warning of danger, rocks or currents that could easily wreck ships in that area, but also as landmarks too, to help navigation, a welcome light to help the ship’s captain plan his onward journey with safety and confidence. John called Jesus ‘the Light of the World’, the one who would come to sweep away the darkness in people’s lives bringing the light of love and hope to show them a new way of living.

But this light is now faltering, Jesus has to face a terrible ordeal and only he alone can do this. No one wishes to die at thirty and no one wishes to die upon the cross. Sometimes when the word courage is used it suggests a resolute fearlessness, but real courage does not mean not being afraid. It means being terribly afraid and yet doing the thing that has to be done. The light finally went out
when Jesus died on the cross and for those who were there, it must have felt as if everything had ended, no hope, no coming of God’s kingdom, just emptiness.

However, we know that the cross was not the end, it was the beginning of new life that only trust, obedience and amazing love could bring to birth. The light shone again, more brightly than ever and this time the darkness could not overcome it. As we begin our journey through Holy Week, may we feel the strength and love of God sustaining us for our life’s journey in the certain knowledge that God remains with us, and sends others to keep watch over us at the times of our trials and suffering. His promise remains true, he will not forsake us because he is with us now and will be for evermore.

By Judy Taylor

Last week Paul and I had a lovely break for a few days in the Cotswolds and we were so lucky to have chosen a week when we had such lovely weather. We were staying in what would once have been a stately house set in hundreds of acres of beautiful grounds. The weather was so warm and sunny and I wanted to make the most of it so I decided I would go for a walk in these lovely grounds on Wednesday. There were paths taking you into different parts of the estate with a map to guide you but I was just so glad to be outside in the sunshine after the long dreary grey days we have been having, I thought I would just see where my footsteps would take me. I hadn’t been walking for very long when I saw an old rustic bench which looked very inviting. (What sort of walk am I on I can hear you asking yourselves?!). Well I sat there for a while, just drinking in the sunshine, feeling the warmth which seemed to not only warm my body but also my spirit. After leaving the bench I found myself walking through dappled sunlight into some woods. Here there were many clumps of snowdrops and – birdsong. It was as if every bird was singing in these woods. Songs I had never heard before, the chorus of sound was just beautiful. I had to stop and listen and marvel at everything around me and I think that it was here I began my prayer walk but it is only looking back that I realise that that is what it was.

I was giving thanks to God for this beauty all around me, and as I stopped to look at yet another lovely group of snowdrops, they were nodding their little heads as if in agreement with me. My pace got slower as I stopped just to hear the birds or just to be in the sun. I did not want anything to spoil this wonderful experience but as we all know, the mind doesn’t always go where we want it to go! I found myself thinking about the awful state of the world and in particular of Ukraine and all that has happened recently with President Zelenskyy. I brought this to God, as I know millions of people will be doing all over the world. In this special moment I felt at peace, which was different, I normally feel anxious and fearful of what is to come and pretty overwhelmed too. I don’t know how long I was walking but in all it was a healing and a reassurance experience knowing that God holds everything and we just have to trust that.

I love to think of Jesus, walking in the hills overlooking Galilee. There he would have found peace, away from the crowds that followed him. He too would have marvelled at his Father’s hand in the beauty of the flowers, the sun, the birdsong and the lake below. It was here that he found his Father, in the stillness where he could be with him and listen to his voice. We all need to find a place to be with God, whether on a walk, listening to music or lighting a candle to bring us into that time of stillness. We need this more than ever in these uncertain and turbulent times. And it is here that we can tell God of those fears and worries. We can bring to him all that is on our hearts knowing that he listens, hears us and loves us.

As we continue our journey this Lent, let Jesus be our companion and let us be his companion too. Let us walk with him our most trusted friend, see his absolute trust in his Father even though he knows what awaits him. If we can we bring him comfort and love by staying with him, his journey like ours will be lighter and wherever our walk in Lent and beyond leads us, we can, like Jesus, know that his Father, our Father loves us unconditionally and at our journey’s end he will welcome us home to be with him always.

By Judy Taylor

I recently came across this photo of a little pansy which had somehow managed to push its way through a seemingly impossible place, you could say between a rock and a hard place. How did it get there I wonder? Was it a tiny seed brought by the wind or maybe dropped by a bird? A little seed like this would not be expected to flower, to flourish in such a hostile place and yet, against all the odds here it is, brave and beautiful, a glorious splash of colour against the greyness and hardness of the rocks surrounding it. In order for it to grow it would have needed a little earth and water. There must have been just enough soil between the cracks of the rock to enable the seed to grow and the rain would have trickled down between the cracks to encourage it to flourish. Its journey up through the tiny crack would have been a struggle but just enough light would have encouraged this little flower to keep going until it reached the light, the third element needed to grow, (earth, water and light).

How often do we feel that we are ‘between a rock and a hard place’? When it seems that whatever choice we make will not bring about the solution we want. It may be that decisions we have taken have brought us to this place or it may be situations beyond our control.

In the bible, there are many stories of people who must have felt like this, among them, Joseph, sold into slavery by his brothers, who was a victim of betrayal and must have felt helpless and hopeless at times. Daniel faced captivity in Babylon, threats from jealous rivals and the lion’s den. Paul, who endured numerous hardships including beatings, imprisonment, shipwrecks and eventually martyrdom. And then our dear Lord in the Garden of Gethsemane desperately praying that the horror of what was to come could be avoided. Real people with real feelings. In spite of everything however, they all held on to what gave them life, their love of God. Somehow they dug deep, found that little piece of soil to anchor themselves to and with perseverance they came through into the light, against all the odds.

We cannot all be heroes such as these but we can, when things seem impossible, reach into what grounds us, our love of God and his for us. If we can let his love wash over us which may be through others we will find the strength however tenuous to start that journey into the light. Think of the little pansy again – this little flower is somehow declaring that it has arrived! The beauty of its colour, its very being there is a testament to perseverance and the miracle of life itself.

God is with us, God will always be with us especially in the tough times. If we think of the little pansy, we can perhaps find the soil (God) to encourage us and strengthen us, the rain to help us to believe and have courage (which may be the support of others) and with these we can start our journey towards the light knowing that we have come through. We can bathe in the warmth of that wonderful light allowing it to warm us and dispel our weariness. And we can rest too until we, with God’s love are able to embrace life once again knowing that our strength comes from God and He will see us through wherever the path of our life takes us.

Psalms 18:1-3. I love you, LORD; you are my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my saviour; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.